Helping Survivors Manage

When I think about all the business-related considerations of starting a new business whether the entrepreneur is me, or someone I am helping, it seems to work best to go back to the basics. Research the competition; check out who is already doing what you want to do; think about the target market, name that market, research that market; establish goals; write a business plan to ensure thorough thinking; step outside of yourself and your industry and ask the questions you want answered “is this tactically feasible?” ”what is the growth goal?” “is there capacity for growth?” “what does that look like?”

These things come to mind when I contemplate the next step in this process. Tomorrow I will see the prototype gallies which is the final version of the book before it will be approved (or cleaned up) for print (think Final Draft). Perhaps it is overconfidence, but already I have started research on the organically evolving project which is providing the book with changes that apply to a death in a hospice and/or hospital. This initial product is specifically for funeral home directors. While meeting with the director to arrange the funeral after a death, typically the home provides the surviving support system information on the funeral and other helpful pamphlets, my vision is that this will be included with that “care package”.

Fortunately, throughout this project, my mantra has been “no great work is done alone” and due to the team at hand, I have no doubt growth is not only possible, but achievable and inevitable. Peace and thank you.

Today the completed prototype went to the printer for final draft to obtain a quantity of books for me to take to funeral homes. This is very exciting and I am looking forward to all the feedback I will get from the directors. It has been fun working so hard on it, but I am glad to move on to the next step. Everything always takes longer than you think it will.  

Yesterday, I met with a woman who has had two sons die, and after that, her husband and her mother. It always puts things in perspective when you hear other stories. I told her that once we are up and running, I plan to write more manuals for specific circumstances (such as death of a child, or by murder, by suicide, military) because no death is ever exactly the same. There are innumerable causes of death and help after the fact is needed for each one. This original book is a starting point only and I want to reach as many people as I can to help them make something so difficult a tiny bit less difficult. Peace.

One of the best lessons I learned as a Hospice Volunteer was to ask open-ended questions. This question “what can I do?” is vague, but it typically does invite a positive response when someone is in a difficult situation. This question is what goes through all of us when someone dies, “I wish there was something I could do” (for the survivor) and there is. I was pleased to discover that my dad surrendered and let us help him when mom died. He asked the question I constantly thought of “what do people do who don’t have family to help them throught this?” he allowed us to help him and we wanted to help. If you know someone who has lost someone, the best thing to do is just say “I am sorry for your loss” that will do it. No one expects you to say anything else. If you want to physically help them in some way, ask if you can go to the store and get them toiletries for the bathroom (or just do it, if you can see they need something), do they need laundry detergent? Do they need milk, maybe you could do a load of laundry for them. Think of everyday things that we take for granted, getting the mail, eating a meal. My dad wanted someone there, but I could tell when he wanted to be alone as well, and that is natural. What you can do is just be there, maybe holding a hand, and maybe just being in the next room silent…offering open ended questions when appropriate.

It appears as though with all the feedback I am getting, along with all the support and encouragement from people who are not “friends being nice” that moving forward – and quickly - is the direction I need to go. I am going to complete my content for prototype and will start to print within two weeks. Brian Hong, (info below) from Legacy Solutions Network (and Beth’s business partner) has indicated a great amount of interest and enthusiasm. This week and next week I plan to interview anyone who wants to talk to me about their experience or knowledge. As my friend Kay said in her email to me this morning, “there is always something” and hence, another portion of the book. We plan to go through several beta versions until we get the most comprehensive and user friendly book and then I plan to go to the National Funeral Directors Association conference in 2010 after I have some clients and all the kinks worked out. If you know anyone who would be willing to talk to me about logistics a survivor had to manage after a death, please give them my info and I will contact them. My interview questions are not emotional, they are task related. Peace.  Thank you for your comments, they mean a great deal to me

Brian Hong, President, Legacy Solutions Network www.legacysolutionsnetwork.com

This weekend I put together the prototype for the book and this week I have several contacts to interview. I am also meeting with a couple of lawyers and a hospice representative. Tomorrow I get to talk to the potential designer and publisher. Things are moving along quickly and I am excited for all the positive feedback! Thank you. Peace.